A few days ago, I had to update my W-4 and change my marital status at work. I had been putting this off for sometime and, to be quite honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to doing it… ever! Unfortunately, a W-4 update is required to make sure that the proper amount of tax is withheld from my paycheck and I was still a little late getting that done.
I logged into the automated system at work and changed the W-4 first. It was the first time that I had to list myself as “single” since 1987 and it certainly did feel strange. I don’t feel single. I certainly don’t want to be single. Alas, that was the only option available to me.
Then, I hit the same situation when changing my status in my official employee profile. The only options were “married” and “single.” Really? They couldn’t include a “widowed” option to make life just a little less traumatic for those of us going through this hell? Seriously?
Of course, “widowed” isn’t a much more comfortable option come to think of it. I’ve had to check that box a time or two at doctors’ offices and the like. I still want to check “married” so much. I didn’t ask for this change and I don’t like it. I’m sure, if we could ask Cindy, she would tell us that she didn’t ask for it either.
The only place where I found a little compassion was when dealing with Facebook. They allowed me to change my status to “widowed” once I asked them to make Cindy’s page a memorial page. They were very kind about the entire thing. By the way, Cindy’s Facebook page is still up if you would like to share a thought or a memory.
Changing one’s marital status under such circumstances is not easy, but I guess it is one of those things that just has to be done.