Darn these emotions. They sneak up on me when I least expect them… and they hit hard!
I can be doing normal, everyday things, not thinking about Cindy or anything at all in particular and WHAM! I get sucker punched by raging emotions. It happens without warning and without mercy.
The other day, I was driving home from work, listening to KEZ radio, jamming along to Adele when, all of a sudden, I just got this overpowering urge to scream Cindy’s name. I didn’t do it, but I really wanted to. I also really wanted to cry. What the heck?
Some mornings, I wake up feeling great and, out of the blue, I’ll become incredibly sad and depressed. I just never know when it’s going to happen.
There are times when I expect the pain of sadness, such as when I read over the condolence cards or go through Cindy’s favorite things. Other times, when I’m just doing normal stuff, it catches me totally off guard.
The last few nights have been especially active. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel well anyway. I don’t know. What I do know is that I have been in pretty good spirits when I get hit with an unexpected wave of sadness and depression. That’s when I start cranking up the sad ol’ country songs. Believe me, I’ve listened to a lot of George Jones and Hank Williams, Jr. over the past few days. If I was a drinking man, I have no doubt that Jack Daniel’s and I would be great “friends.” Fortunately for me and my liver, I stopped drinking in 1999.
I hope these “emotional ninjas” stop their attacks soon, or at least announace them ahead of time. This is getting rough. Where’s Chuck Norris when I need him?
Here’s one song I’ve been listening to a lot lately. Thanks Hank Williams, Jr.