Do you ever let your mind wonder and try to picture what your future will look like? I do, or at least I used to.
I would sit back and see images of me and Cindy as a little old couple having lunch at McDonalds and watching TV or going on the Alaskan cruise we always talked about. The future seemed so stable and secure. Now, it’s unclear. When I try to picture life going forward, it’s like watching a TV with the cable out. It’s fuzzy. I can’t imagine even the smallest details anymore. Simple things like trying to picture myself replacing the air freshener in Cindy’s car seems so foreign right now. It’s a very strange feeling.
For the first time in my life, I cannot picture what I think life will look like tomorrow. I must admit that it’s a little bit scary at times.
I know we’re supposed to live in the moment, one-day-at-a-time, but that’s never been my thing. I’ve always tried to guess what tomorrow will hold. For the first time ever, I can’t.
Sorry if this post seems a little “off the wall.” I try to be very honest in this blog in the hope that it will help me work through things and will show others, who might feel this way, that they are not alone.
I’ll let you know when the picture clears up. Until then, I keep watching “recordings” of the past.
Have a great Friday, y’all.